*(you can just skip the first two or three paragraph…haha)
There are lots and lots of beautiful love story ever existed since the olden days. Stories that have moved some of us while inspired others. Be it the way Rasulullah always thinks of Siti Khadijah even long after her death or the magnificent of Tajmahal, built by Sultan Shah Jahan as the final resting place of his beloved third wife, Mumtaz Mahal. Romeo, upon saying “See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" leaves the audience in awe and smiling throughout their play. And about Princess Fiona, how she sacrifices her beauty to live an everlasting happy life with Shrek. These are just few of the thousands if not millions of love story ever had been told. And the sweetness of the story produces warmth and fuzziness in the heart of listeners. The only question is, why did I start my writing with such a paragraph? Well, the answer is easy. I can feel love blooming in IMU…haha..well.. I can feel the love tonite (Elton John)…
As a typical human being (if not typical Malaysian that is), when we read the sentence about the love blooming in IMU, we usually thought that there are new couples budding in IMU. Well… actually, that is far from the truth. Stop polluting the sacred word “love” with the narrow minded way of thinking that it is mainly between a boy and a girl, or between a man and a woman. There are lots of other forms of love such as between me and my muslim brothers, me and my parents and most definitely between me and Allah to name but few. And Aris Ariwatan (through his song entitled - 1 2 3 4) placed the love between a man and a woman last in his list. Haha... Hmm, do you know who is the greatest lover ever existed? Surely it is The Creator of Love and the Lover of Creation is it not? In malay, it translates as Pencipta Cinta dan Pencinta Cipta…and that is Allah. Even Aris Ariwatan admits this in the same song.
But is it true that love really is blooming in IMU? It sure is. Nowadays, you can see lots of people in surau seeking love from Allah, sons and daughters calling home finding some love from their parents, friends studying together to pass exam and people spending more time reciting dua’ after prayer asking for Allah’s help. Love is everywhere isn’t it? This always happens during exam periods. Do you want to know why? I’ll tell you later. Actually, the main point of this article is not to fret on the different types of love, but on how to love Allah using the same approach you love your girlfriend or your boyfriend. And I’m going to do this by dissecting the book on relationship written by John Grey (Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) and Leil Lowndes (How to Make Anyone Fall in Love withYou) my style. I shall present to you what man and women need from their partner for successful relationship and relate it with what Allah wants in our relationship with the Almighty (so that we can have successful relationship with Allah of course). The theory is simple. If I can do this to the woman that I like, be it my mother, my sister, or my friends, then the same thing is the least that I can do toward Allah as He deserve lots more from me as compared to others. It’s only logical, rite? An important thing to note is that when I say relationship with man and woman, it does not necessarily indicate being a couple. Please widen our scope to include the relationship between us and our parents, siblings and friends. So…
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
To those that can relate,
This one is for you.
I know… lame isn’t it? Who cares…so… back to the topic. First and foremost, is how to kick start our relationship with Allah. Leil mentioned a research indicating that love is easier to start when you are emotionally aroused. It’s EMOTIONALLY aroused ok! People who are emotionally exhausted can easily fall in love with the next person they interact with. That is why she suggests that the first dating place should be somewhere that can exhaust our emotion. And that is why lots of couples emerge during the exam period (because it’s very EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY tiring). So, what does this has to do with our relationship with Allah? Well, it has everything to do with it. If we want to make some fast progress in our relationship with Allah, then, every single time that we are emotionally tired (after playing futsal, after watching horror movie, tired after a whole day of class or anything), contact Allah and talk with Him. Tell him our experience and ask for His guidance. Insya-Allah this will help us to feel closer to Him. Just try it and see the result. Trust me, I’m a future doctor after all (insya-Allah). Next we are going to see what women needs in their relationship with others (a sure way for us boys to get closer to them)and relates it to what Allah wants from us (so that we can be closer to Him insya-Allah).
According to John Gray, women need understanding, respect and devotion from others, especially the one they are close to. Understanding means to listen without judgment but with empathy and relatedness. One should gather meaning from what he or she heard from a woman and move toward validating what is being communicated. In our relationship with Allah, He wants us to read and understand without judgment every single word that he says in the Quran and gather the meaning trough the tafsir and finally validate that all that been said is true, relevant and should be practiced. It’s somewhat the same isn’t it? The second point is respect. Women feel respected when a guy acknowledge and prioritize her rights, wishes, and needs. And the same thing is what Allah wants from all of us. Sorry, not exactly the same thing as Allah doesn’t have any wishes or needs at all (correct me if I’m wrong). Allah is As-samad after all. And in the Quran, Allah says that he doesn’t even need us but we are the one who needs Him. So, to respect Allah, we only need to do one thing; prioritize His rights. Should be easier than fulfilling women’s three criteria isn’t it? Allah has lots of rights. The right to be obeyed, to be loved and to be placed at the top most position in our heart is just a few example of it. Just do this and you shall have smooth relationship with Allah, insya-Allah.So, the last point is devotion. Women would be delighted if her lover prioritize her needs and proudly commit himself to fulfilling her as this makes her feels adored and special. Just like this, we need to proudly commit ourselves to His cause to show our devotion towards Him hoping that in doing so, He will love us more. Men on the other hand, needs different thing in their relationship as compared with woman. They need trust, acceptance, appreciation and admiration (just do these girls, and he might get closer with you). And these needs shall be discussed further in the next paragraph.
A man feels trusted when others believed that he is doing his best and he wants the best for his partner. To trust a man means that believing that everything he does is for the best of him and others. We should also trust Allah in the same way. Believe that everything that happens to us is becauseit is the best for us. Be it an accident, flunked exam, break up with girlfriend, won a tournament, or anything. It is the best thing that can happen to us in that particular time as Allah want and knows the best thing for us at that specific time. The second point is acceptance. Men feels accepted when he is received without trying to be changed, meaning, he is accepted as he is. Same with Allah. Accept Him as perfect as He is. Don’t try to associate any being with Him and don’t even say he is staying anywhere as that is a form of rejection toward Allah. Refrain from doing syirk as it is the biggest form of rejection toward Allah. The third criterion is appreciation. Men are appreciated when others acknowledge having received personal benefit and value from his effort or behavior. We are always thankful for our friends and SP’s help, but how often have we been thankful for all Allah’s gifts for us? This is a mistreatment toward Allah and anonfulfillment towards his right. So, what we need to do is that, at least once a day, thanks Allah for all fortune and misfortune that had fell toward us for it is the best for us. Just a simple word Alhamdulillah is enough to start with. Lastly, a men needs to be admired. To admire a man is to regard him with wonder, delight and pleased approval. So, for our relationship with Allah, we must always praise him. How? Through zikr of course. Wet our buccal cavity with zikr and praise Allah always. Look at the magnificence of His creation and admire them as those reflect the strength and beauty of Allah.
Brothers and sisters. I’ve present to you what a woman and a man needs in their relationship with others. And I have related them with what Allah wants from us. Boys, to get closer to a woman, we need tounderstand, respect and devote to her. Girls, to make a man adore you, you have to trust, accept, appreciate and admire him. And to strengthen our relationship with Allah, we must understand, respect, devote, trust, accept, appreciate and admire Him. Most of us are willing to do this to tackle the heart of the one we love and hope to spend our life with. But few of us are eager to do this to Allah so that The Merciful will always love us. If we can do this to our mother, father or anyone that we love dearly, surely the same thing is the least we can do for Allah as He deserve lots more from us. Please be just toward His right. So, I wish us all to make the right choice on whom to use this technique with and have fun trying it. And with this wassalamu’alaikum w.b.t.
Msoc Comittee 2011/12