Let’s learn a bit of psychology.
To be stable in personality is an essential feature of a fellow Muslim. For Heart is King and the whole body is the pawns, ready for command either it’s for the path of good, or evil.
Huh? Anything else??
Yes, there IS!
Besides that, ukhwah among the fellow brothers and sisters are also important as to generate a sense of togetherness and harmony. This in turn creates another term, a stable society.
Muslim personality --> Baitul Muslim --> Muslim society
Get it? =)
Below are some of the steps towards self-preservation into becoming a self-stable muslim personality, Insha’Allah. Enjoy! =)
Trust yourself. You know what you want and need.
Put yourself first. You can't be anything for anybody else unless you take care of yourself.
Let your feelings be known. They are important.Express your opinions. It's good to hear yourself talk.
Value your thinking. You do it well. Take the time and space you need. Even if other people are wanting something from you.
When you need something, don't talk yourself out of it. Even if you can't have it, it's ok to need.When you are scared, let someone know. Isolating yourself when you're scared makes it worse.
When you feel like running away, let yourself feel the scare. Think about what you fear will happen and decide what you need to do. When you're angry, let yourself feel the anger.
Decide what you want to do. Just feel it, express it, or take some action. When you're sad, think about what would be comforting.
When you're hurt, tell the person who hurt you. Keeping it inside makes it grow. When you have work to do and you don't want to do it, decide what really needs to be done and what can wait.
When you want something from someone else, ask. You'll be okay if they say no. Asking is being true to yourselves. When you need help, ask. Trust people to say no if they don't want to give.
When people turn you down, it usually has to do with them, and not with you. Ask someone else for what you need. When you feel alone, know there are people who want to be with you. Fantasize what it would be like to be with each of them. Decide if you want to make that happen.
When you feel anxious, let yourself know that in your head. You've moved into the future to something scary and your body has gotten up the energy for it. Come back to the present. When you want to say something loving to someone, go ahead. Expressing your feeling is not a commitment.
When someone yells at you, physically support yourself by relaxing into your chair or putting your feet firmly on the floor. Remember to breathe. Think about the message they are trying to get across to you.
When you're harassing yourself, stop. You do it when you need something. Figure out what you need and get it. When everything seems wrong, you are overwhelmed and need some comforting. Ask for it. Afterwards, you can think about what you need to do.
A hadith on Ukhwah (in Malay) :
Dari Abi Hurairah r.a katanya: Telah bersabda Rasulullah sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam: Janganlah kamu berdengki-dengkian, dan janganlah kamu bertipu-tipuan, dan janganlah kamu berbelakang-belakangkan, dan janganlah sebahagian kamu menjual di atas penjualan sebahagian daripada kamu dan jadilah kamu wahai hamba Allah yang bersaudara.
Orang Islam bersaudara dengan orang Islam yang lain, tidak boleh ia menganiayainya, dan tidak boleh membiarkannya (dalam kehinaannya), dan tidak boleh mendustainya, dan tidak boleh menghinanya.
Taqwa itu di sini (kata Nabi sambil menunjuk ke dadanya tiga kali)
Sudah cukup banyak kejahatan seseorang itu, bahawa ia merendahkan saudaranya yang muslim. Sekelian orang Islam atas orang Islam haram darahnya dan hartanya dan kehormatannya.
~Riwayat Imam Muslim~
(adapted from iluvislam.com)
Msoc Committee 2011/12