I hope you didn't go to the extend of complaining,
"We are too young to talk about this. It's still early to think about love. There are many other important things lining up in our future. Right now, focus on etc. etc. etc. etc. No need to worry etc. etc. etc."
Okay. Fine. I get it. Relax. Cool. Chill. To read this entry, let's set our mood a little different than when we talked about hardships and mistakes. Bring out the most soft and beautiful feelings you have ever had to continue reading.
And don't stop reading, if you've reached this part of my writing. That is a warning and my story begin.
I, turned on my right and my friend told me that one of her friend was married recently. I was like, "Oh" at first. And when I turned of my left, another story about someone younger than my age, is getting married. I was like "Really?" And when I looked at my computer, a new facebook notification popped out and it was an engagement day of my childhood friend. This time I went like, "What?!" With all this sort of news greeting my days, how do you expect me to not think about loving someone? I don't know about you though. But in my case, I admit, I once in a while thought to myself, 'I want to love too'
If we are to love, I believe we have some sort of expectations listed in our head, right? Okay, in the most common term people is using nowadays, I would say, your ideal type. Everyone has it.
I want to have someone that care about me more than anything else. I want someone who could take good care of me all the time, I want someone who could make me happy. I want someone who would be able to be by my sides during my hard times and my happy times. I want someone who understand me without me explaining or even speaking, I want someone that is full of surprises, I want to have someone that is the coolest when loving me, I want someone that with the prettiest heart could eternally love me, I want someone who would only see me, I want, I want, I want and I want someone who is this, someone who is that, and someone who is..
Oh! And that could go on, on and on forever.
Do you think you would be able to find someone like this?
Frankly writing, I know you know where my story is leading you to. Who would write about 'worldly' dating here? I believe that the moment you read the title of the post, you know who I would be talking about. Right?
Indeed. I'll be sharing my thoughts on the love that we often overlooked. The love that we should have put more efforts to see, that love that is the prettiest of all. If you could see.
Suddenly, it makes me feel bad. Just by thinking on what I've overlooked. I feel like I'm filming a love drama and as the main character, instead of going for the one who everyday, expressing His undying love for me, pursuing me desperately and yet I, stupidly, I would say, like a fool, turning away and was busy chasing and looking for love from other supporting characters.
Today, I opened my eyes and realized more. That in my soundless sleep last night, someone has been watching over me. And HE waited until this morning before giving the first call (Azan). Why is it so early? Have you ever wonder on the reasons?
Being woken up by alarm or friends every morning, do you, with eyes half closed, perform the Subuh prayer and sleep again right after that? Just because, we can't skip our prayer. It's important, compulsory.
"No matter how sleepy I am, I'll pray. Pray comes first. I can sleep later. No big deal. Whatever. As long as I just don't skip Subuh prayer."
(Well, the 'oit' is partly for me and those who think they are with me)
Are we living with rules or heart? In Eeeeeverything that I have to do as a Muslim, I have been mostly living, swallowing the rules:
Because we MUST, because we CAN'T, because in Islam etc. etc.
That's why, even though I never skipped the five times prayer a day, sometimes, I still feel empty.
And I never try seeing the beauty part of it.
So now, if you are in the same boat as me, let's open the door of our heart and let Allah's love inside.
The Azan five times a day, is like five calls a day from your lover. I bet even your Mom didn't manage to call up till five times a day, right?
And when He call, He wanted to meet for sure. Here comes the prayers.
"Why is it so early in the morning? If He loves me, He should know that I am tired from sleeping late doing assignment last night."
Fool. It is because He wants you, to meet HIM, the first on your new day.
Be fresh. Just like when someone that you love is calling for you. You stop doing whatever you are doing and go running to them, "Yes honey~~"
That's how you should wake up and pray Subuh.
If you are tired, you can tell HIM in your Du'a. 'Ya Rabbi, I feel so tired. But thinking that you've been waiting for me all long nights to see me first in the morning, here I am, asking for strength on this new day of mine...'
Well, it don't have to be specifically this. But what I am saying here is that, somehow, find the beauty to what you are doing, put sincere effort, then you'll do it with heart not for the sake of abiding rules. If not, just know that you are overlooking such beautiful love.
The same thing goes to Zohor and Asar prayer. After a long hours in class, in lab or in the Clinical Stimulation Centre. Tired of working, tired of studying, tired of dealing with people and emotions, tired from skipping the lunch and Argh It's Zohor. Argh It's Asar. Argh I have class right after that. (Freaking out) Okay breath, Plan. Let's pray first then later, I don't have to worry about it already.
What? Did you just say worry? When praying is the time you can meet your love one. The break time between a long and tiring day of yours, when the heavy head with worldly matters of yours could lay rest on the Sajadah. When you can share, when you can pour out, when you can regain your strength from the meeting with Allah the Most Loving of all. When you can cry to your love one. When you can lay your head on Allah and when you can leave your worries and all to HIM.
And are you still doing it because you are just accomplishing what you should do? Or are you doing it because you really do feel the healing from that short date? A short yet strength refilling date.
This is something that we often overlooked. Maybe not WE because I don't know about you. So, this is something that I often overlooked. There are many more and I could list some of it but, you know how it never ends.
Allah always make events and send people to make I smile everyday. He never fails to send family, friends or even strangers to give motivation on days I felt down. He listens and answers in various unexpected ways. Sometimes, when I just could not accept HIS answer though clearly knew that HE was right, still, He would make unexpected surprises that make I think, 'So, life is just not about going through tests and all...' And Allah is a lover that gives everything you ask for. But if what you are asking from HIM would harm you, HE would never allow that to even cross in your pathway. Even if you blame HIM for not being fair, Even if you say that you hate HIM, Even if you cry pitifully asking for it, He would still not giving it to you, knowing that you could get hurt. See how beautiful and secure that overlooked love is? HE is someone that when I said 'I want to be alone', but still keeping me accompany.He protects me from everything. Every single things. And He did that without me noticing. Romantically, secretly, that when I found out one, I would fall to HIM more. HIS love letters, written long long long before I am even born (The Al-Quran), interestingly answered me whenever I asked. When loneliness strike, I randomly opened to any page, and words like, 'Tell them I am near' appeared as if that was a planned event.
Now you tell me, how much do you think He has been loving me all this while? How patience He has been loving me all my life? And yet I, selfishly living, forgetting, neglecting and overlooking this love.
For Allah who makes my eyes sleepy when I overworked, For Allah who everyday, offering a place for me to lay my head resting, which is onto HIM, For Allah that always want me to, if possible learn to leave it all for HIM to settle, after my long days struggling, For Allah that never lose hope in me despite how many times I disappointed HIM, I just hope that I would not overlook this matter any more. I want to love. To love HIM for HIM, to love others because of HIM. To love everything because of HIM.
Let's love Allah that never stops loving us, Love Allah that has been loving us way more prettier than any pretty flowers ever existed, way more beautiful than any beauty we have ever seen and way more fantasy than any story lines you have ever imagining.
But how? I have no idea too. But I'm thinking of starting with my Prayer. I would do my best in this relationship that I've overlooked. Instead of avoiding the call, I would be waiting for it. Instead of praying because I have to, I want to pray because I want to, I desperately want to see HIM in the middle of my chaotic worldly life, telling HIM how I feel better after seeing HIM. Like someone who is crazily in love, I would learn to only see HIM. Takbir and I believe He is smiling at me. Rukuk and I know He is supporting me from falling, Sujud and He is whispering how He has been missing me and how He has been loving me. And in the sitting between the two Sujud, He is stating that He would never let anyone to touch even a single hair of mine.
Praying with heart only attaching to HIM, it sounds like a good idea though to me. Despite the hardship, just know that it's worth it. Try.
And I'm not sharing any verses from the Al-Quran today, but just a love quote. It's a normal cheesy love quote generally, but how do you see and interpret it make it different.
Humbly written by:
Pp/s: Feeling lonely when it rains? Not any more. No one is single. Everyone is in a love relationship, it is either you are treasuring it or you are overlooking it. Let's live in love! Fighting! And smile. Now. Yes. I said smile. Before you close this page. Smile. The prettiest smile you've ever had. Yes. Like that. And InshaAllah, the sun will shine on your day, the stars will blink brightly on your night.
May peace be upon you.